Passive aggressive emails with my baby about bedtime

A transcript

Hi, Baby!

Hope the end of summer is treating you well! Can’t believe it’s almost September!

Just wanted to quickly check in about bedtime tonight.

I know the whole team is excited to see what you’re planning, but just to get ahead of things, wanted to run a few ideas by you after chatting with folks internally.

I know you’re set on climbing out of the crib, and everyone is obsessed with that, but how do you feel about trying a version where you stay IN the crib?

Just a thought! Feel free to disregard, but thought I’d throw it out there in case it sparks anything!

Talk soon!

Mommy

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Heyyy, Mommy.

Great to hear from you.

Totally hear you on the crib thing, but unfortunately since my brother is on the other side of the room, I actually have to climb out of the crib to get to his bed.

Not trying to be difficult, but if I can’t climb out, then I can’t yell “HI!!!!” in his sleeping face at 3AM, so not sure if “folks” considered that when you all discussed it.

My understanding is it’s my crib, and my stuffies, and I honestly feel a little boxed out that I’m not being trusted here on the creative.

CC’ing Gray Bunny so he’s aware and in the loop.

Thanks,

Baby

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OMG totally hear that! And great to connect, Gray Bunny! Hope you’re well.

Not trying to interfere with your vision, Baby, and we all totally trust you! And between us, I think the 3AM wake-ups are genius. Only you would think of that haha!

But from a safety standpoint, we’re kind of in a bind. Legal is worried if you climb out you could die, and so if that’s the creative direction you’re going, we can definitely REMOVE the crib wall altogether, and transition to a toddler bed!

Happy to hop on a call about it if you want!

Exciting!

Mommy

***

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I’m sorry. What?

What do you mean “remove the crib wall?”

B

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Sorry - just saying we can take the crib wall off and then you can get in and out easier!

We can definitely discuss that new direction if it’s of interest! Can get on it right away.

Let me know!

Mommy

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I’m honestly in shock that’s been an option this whole time.

So I could get out of bed all night, any time???????

B

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Ah actually - to clarify, you’d need to stay on the mattress the whole time, even though there wouldn’t be bars keeping you in!

Just to streamline things since it feels like a win-win, I’m already on it with an Allen wrench and it’s looking perfect — nobody’s going to miss the old version.

Excited for you to see it!

M

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Hey. I feel like we’re on totally different pages right now. No offense, but why would I stay on the mattress if there’s no crib bars?

Since I’m deep in prep mode for tonight and can’t deal with the logistics right now, please reach out to Gray Bunny if there’s any further questions about it.

Best,

Baby

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Hi Baby,

So sorry if things spiraled unpleasantly. I talked to Gray Bunny and we took things up the ladder and I think we reached a place where a deal feels imminent.

As a compromise, and I think you’ll be actually pleased to hear, since the crib wall is down, just to make sure you feel supported and creatively heard while staying on the mattress, Dada (!) has offered to LAY DOWN on the floor of your room after lights out for 15 minutes as long as you stay in the toddler bed.

We’re all SUPER thrilled with how things shook out, and think this could actually be an awesome vision for bedtime going forward.

Looking forward to your thoughts and excited to get things moving on this at long last!

Excited for tonight!

M

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20 minutes of Dada.

B

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OK got a quick answer on that: Looks like 15 is the absolute maximum he’s willing to go with, and it’s actually unprecedented and (off the record!) completely against regulations.

But he’s ready and excited and I think it’s a good step forward! Can always re-open negotiations depending on how things go, but since time is super of the essence I say we go for it!

And on a related note: The toddler bed looks AMAZING and so cozy - you’re going to be obsessed.

See you shortly!

M

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15 minutes plus back rubbies and “You Are My Sunshine.”

Or I walk.

-Baby

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Agreed! Woohoo!

Excited to celebrate in person!
Mommy

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K cool.

Also if you’re missing your grandma’s amethyst earrings they’re in a Lego vehicle but I won’t tell you which one.

All the best,
Baby