10 Ways For Trump to Come Up With $175 Million in 10 Days
A helpful list!
Trump has 10 days to post a $175 million bond for the judgment in his civil fraud case in New York. The fact that he did not instantly wire this amount and jet off to Palm Beach means he, as we all have always known, has no actual money.
That’s fine! Very few of us have $175 million! But fortunately, here are a few ways he can make the money he very desperately needs:
Ask Jared Kushner’s SnapChat brother!
Ask Jared Kushner’s dad!
Ask one of Jared and Ivanka’s kids!
Cameo dot com! Can you imagine? He’d make it in three hours.
Do a Vegas cabaret-style residency! Just him at piano! He loves speaking - this would be great! He even “has” a hotel there! January 6th Chorus as his backup singers! It writes itself in that there is no script!
Three words: Netflix Comedy Special!
Email supporters his Venmo name and the 🥺 emoji!
Beg Sheldon Adelson’s ghost!
Publicly call Elon Musk “cool” and “handsome” and “my friend!”
Truth Social/nudes
He screams opinionated and chatty Uber driver.
By now, we should've all cracked his code. He's Professor Backwards on Opposites Day. If he says he appreciates the appeals court decision, he doesn't. If he says he'll pay the new bond quickly, he won't, not quickly, or not pay it at all, because he doesn't have it and can't get it. If he had the money, he could've paid it yesterday. He's become SUCH an easy read; reading him has become so much fun! I know exactly what he doesn't mean, as soon as he says it.