Who are you and what is happening?

I am an author and TV comedy writer and mother and tired. I wrote on a late night show for eight years, then executive produced an all-female comedy special for Amazon, published a bestselling book Nobody Will Tell You This But Me, and wrote speeches for the Democratic National Convention. I also have two small children who I’m told are very charming. This is my place on the internet to share my opinions and comedy pieces and videos with you, people who elect to be here. I am very, very glad to have this unfiltered space to share my various grudges and vendettas, because I rarely leave the house, and it saves me from ranting at the walls. The takeaway from this is I am very fun.

Why subscribe?

By subscribing to The Grudge Report, you can read what I have to say about the week’s news or a larger social issue and read my hopefully comedic take on it. Think of it as my late night show, but instead of sitting behind a desk on a set, I can hide behind my laptop like a coward.

This entire enterprise is my way of moving away from other troll-plagued social media sites and toward a more welcoming community of supportive, engaged readers. You.

There. Now we are friends.

What exactly will you write? I’m frightened!

Fear not. I will elaborate.

All subscribers will get The Weekly Grudge. This is where I will take a position from personal experience and weave it into a column about a bigger issue. This will range from very serious to very trivial, always through a - forgive me - comedic lens. An example is the Op-Ed I recently wrote in the New York Times about paid parental leave. This will sometimes get very personal. And sometimes it will be political. So if you are averse to extremely progressive politics, LGBTQ rights, gun reform, abortion access, universal healthcare, universal childcare, or vaccinations, have a lovely day and goodbye!

I will also write a weekly Short Comedy Piece, in the vein of one of my Shouts and Murmurs. 

There will also be content for monthly paying subscribers, which brings me to…

Money?! For WRITING?! How unladylike!

I’m glad you brought that up. I will be sharing extremely unfiltered rantings and ravings behind a paywall because there are some grudges that I do not want to put out for public consumption yet. This includes:

  • An advice column. I'm not a therapist, but I'm the child of a therapist, which makes me a therapist.

  • Comedy videos like this series I did about Ivanka Trump.

  • Participation! You can ask questions, give feedback, be part of the Grudgnicks!

  • Excerpts from the book I am currently writing.

  • Unpublished material from “Nobody Will Tell You This But Me”

  • Updates about the MOVIE “Nobody Will Tell You This But Me”

  • Feet Pics (just kidding!!!!!!!! please do not subscribe for feet pics!!!!)

Access to this inner sanctum of The Grudge Report will cost $6.

To make that affordable to more readers, if you are in a position to GIFT a subscription to somebody else, now you have a way to do that:

Give a gift subscription

Mostly, however you choose to read The Grudge Report, I am grateful to have a community of readers who feel connected in this insane morass of internet hell. Let this be a place where we can live. We can laugh. And we can shriek together into the horrifying abyss of modern life. Thank you. Welcome. Away we go.

Subscribe to The Grudge Report

Screaming into the void if that's ok. No worries if not. Apologies.

People

Bess Kalb 
I am trying my best.