Things Currently More Dangerous to My Child Than a Drag Show

In light of Tennessee Republicans voting to make drag performances felonies

• Damaged train tracks in East Palestine, Ohio.

• Cargo trains carrying 115,580 gallons of explosive, unstable vinyl chloride

• Toxic plumes of explosion smoke visible from the upper atmosphere

• Groundwater poisoned with the spilled cargo

• Crops that grow near the groundwater

• Fish downstream of the toxic spill

• Animals that eat those fish

• White nationalists pledging a “National Day of Hate” against Jews tomorrow

• Going to preschool in a synagogue indirectly targeted by those white nationalists

• White nationalists in the United States Congress directly emboldening those groups

• A winter on the east coast without temperatures cold enough to produce meaningful snow

• The looming water crisis from lack of significant snowpack feeding reservoirs

• The seals at the zoo splashing seal water on him last week and now his eyelid is kind of red.

• The subway pole he touched before immediately wiping his nose.

• The clip on his carseat that’s a little pinchy by his leg.

• A mother who’s so rattled and exhausted she ordered the same set of groceries twice in one day.

• Going outside without a hat.

• Going outside on the “National Day of Hate.”

• Going outside anywhere downwind of East Palestine, Ohio.

• Staying inside and not developing social-emotional skills.

• A drag show in a pond in East Palestine, Ohio.