The Definitive 2022 Gift Guide By My Baby and Toddler

Fun, affordable finds to send you straight to the hospital!

1. Loose Batteries

   

   Virtually impossible to get your hands on, loose batteries are by far the most coveted item on the list. Perfect for rolling on the wood floors or just some light poison-gnawing, loose batteries make for the ideal stocking stuffer for anyone looking for a convenient, affordable choking hazard.

2. The Cylindrical Box an Expensive Stuffed Animal Came In

   

   There is a line of $40 stuffed animals from a precious, European company called Maileg. Once you’ve thrown the hand-stitched lion or monkey or whatever aside, the cylindrical container is the single most fascinating item on this list. Whether you roll it, flarp it with your little sausage patty hand, or simply gum the sharp-ish edge of the lid, the box thing is a surefire way to keep everyone entertained for a worryingly long amount of time.

3. Plastic Pumpkin From the Street

   

   It’s the gift that will have the Mom in your life screaming, “No!” A Halloween castoff that found its way to a pile of leaves just off the sidewalk, this decorative-item-turned-rat-tomb will be so appealing you’ll leap OUT of your stroller and nearly run into traffic to grab at it. A must-have!

4. Enormous Amazon Delivery Day Box

   

   Don’t be intimidated by the size! This box is the runaway favorite gift that keeps on giving. Whether it’s a fort, a swimming pool for packing peanuts (SEE ITEM 6), or a hilarious place to put the baby while mom loses her mind, the absurdly large delivery box that once contained your hypoallergenic body wash and several pairs of fleece pajama pants will have you shrieking with joy AND agony when Dad breaks it down the night before recycling day.

5. Mom’s Pillow

   

   Nothing says “Happy Holidays!” like trying to stuff it in your pajama shirt, giving up, throwing it on the floor, declaring it your “little bed,” then wiping your snot on it.

6. Packing Peanuts

   

   Near extinct thanks to killjoy eco-warriors, an Etsy ornament that arrived surrounded by styrofoam packing peanuts was the Trojan Holiday Horse for year’s runaway hit. Whether you’re throwing them in the air to make snow or watching mom frantically scramble to get them away from the baby like a yoga-pants-wearing Hungry Hungry Hippo, these packing peanuts are sure to thrill and delight. And remember, the real gift is the look on your mom’s face when you casually tell her “These didn’t taste like peanuts at all!”