SOME THINGS THAT ARE CURRENTLY OK FOR A PERSON WITH A UTERUS TO DO UNDER UNITED STATES LAW

A comprehensive list post-Roe.

Now that the Supreme Court has overturned Roe v. Wade, you might be wondering what are some things currently legal for anyone with a working uterus to do under United States Law. Here is a comprehensive list!

• Shop!

• Sneeze in the privacy of one’s own home

• Cook a nice meal for two from an online recipe

• Say “Pretty good! You?” when asked by a man “How’s it going?”

• Twirl in a dress

• Fall down a well

• Wake up at the bottom of the well disoriented but okay

• Befriend a spider at the bottom of the well

• Ask the spider to send help

• Train the spider to climb up the side of the well carrying a small message

• Get used to living in the well - it’s not so bad! There’s water and plenty of spiders.

• When a firefighter comes, thank him for his service (!) but decide a life in the well is the life for you.

• Die in a well.

• Haunt the well! (Maybe they’ll make a movie about you!! Will Clare Foy play you!!!??? Is she interested in horror/darker projects??)

• Purchase an assault weapon at a gun show with no questions asked and immediately return to your vehicle with the weapon and a suitcase full of bullets.

• Bake!