Rosh Hashanah: Jewish New Year
Kol Nidre: Day before Yom Kippur
Yom Kippur: Day of atonement
Rob Hatussin: Day of wet coughs
Sukkot: Fall harvest festival where you build a little, thatched 3-walled house
Sukkot-ing Man: Drug-fueled festival where tech bros and influencers burn the Sukkot
Yom Kippurim: Somehow a hybrid of the day of atonement and the costume pageant holiday Purim
Rosh Hershlag: Day of acknowledging Jewish actors who have changed their last names
Sennot Torah: Day of acknowledging non-Jewish actors who play Jews in film.
Secret Sukkot: Secret day it’s ok to eat bacon and shrimp if consumed in a Sukkah
Bar Bra: Day of thinking wistfully about the Elliott Gould parts of “My Name is Barbra” by Barbra Streisand
Yom Kippur-er: Day of atoning for your half-assed atoning on actual Yom Kippur.
Yom Closed: The day of acknowledging school closures
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Thank you for making me laugh early in the morning.
I had a friend who taught in a Jewish school in NY/USA. She was not Jewish, but she loved teaching there because she had all the holidays off, which she said accounted for more than her actual teaching
days.
I remember the fear of October.