Some Places Currently More Dangerous for Jews Than Columbia University

A close call on some of these!

• A wedding where they don’t serve any substantial food at cocktail hour after the ceremony.

• Iran

• The dressing rooms by the bathing suit department of Bloomingdale’s.

• The pool by a hotel in Miami where not one but two very mean girls who went to your sleep-away camp are swimming with their children.

• Europe

• My grandmother’s house if your new boyfriend drinks more than one glass of wine with dinner.

• Alabama

• One of those day spas where everyone seems perfectly happy walking around completely naked in the changing room.

• Any restaurant where any remote level of chili powder/chili sauce/chili pepper is served unfortunately.

• Kennebunkport

• The audience of any current Broadway show where a character says, “Hersh wasn’t the same after the war…” and the lighting changes.

• Outside the campus gates by the news cameras at Columbia University.