Some Information about Jews
There's been a lot of misinformation about this fascinating ethno-religious minority!
There are nine (9) Jews in total. One of us (Avi) lives in Israel. Four live in New York (Danielle, Rachel, Susan and Josh). Three live in LA (Aly, Zach and a different Josh). And one is a kid who lives outside Boston (Micah). That’s it!
If you know one of the nine Jews, they are scared shitless right now. Even though two of them are named Josh, and Danielle and Aly went to camp together, they are not a monolith and have wildly different political beliefs!
The first Jew originated spontaneously 97 years ago in a Lower East Side deli when a bowl of soup was too cold but nobody was there to complain about it!
Though they have not regained their pre-Holocaust numbers (this is actually, factually true), they HAVE been admitted to one of several Palm Beach country clubs that didn’t even let Kennedy play tennis there because he was Catholic! We did it!
There will never be a Jewish person on the moon. Absolutely not.
If you ask a Jew a direct question, he or she will respond with either a better or significantly worse question.
Jews give to charity when they are nervous about geopolitical affairs. The concept of “Mitzvah” translates to “Offset your guilt and woe by seeing what vetted charities are combatting atrocities done both in your name and to people who share your name.”
Jason Biggs is not Jewish.
Daniel Day-Lewis IS Jewish!
There are ten (10) Jews. Avi, Danielle, Rachel, Susan, Josh F., Aly, Zach, Josh C., Micah, and Daniel Day-Lewis.
Please add Jeffrey Lieberman, a former college roommate who hailed from Cleveland.
Also please tell me you're on somebody's payroll again, now that the strike is over.
There's a Shmuel in Grand Rapids, MI. Buzz Aldrin took communion on the moon. We'd need ten Jews to match that.