Passive Aggressive Emails With My Toddler About Passover
Deliver us across the Hudson
Hey, Mommy.
Call me ASAP so we can touch base about the bullshit nightmare that was “Seder” last night. It was definitely NOT what was described when I signed on, and going forward I would like to HARD PASS on any project that involves New Jersey/reading/singing/shirt with buttons/horseradish.
I thought having you on location with me would help in terms of running interference, but from beginning to end it was basically a worst-case scenario.
We can’t change the past, but at this point I’d just like assurance that anything remotely like this will NOT happen again.
Thanks.
Goof
(Sent at 3:32AM)
Happy Thursday, Goof!
So sorry to hear the project was not what you hoped. So frustrating and totally hear you!
If it’s any consolation, I have been getting calls ALL morning from your sea (no pun intended!) of adoring fans gushing over how incredible you were in Four Questions.
I’m sadly back-to-back today so don’t have a ton of time to jump on the phone, but if you give me a sense of any points you’d like me to relay I can definitely pass along up the chain.
Just want to stress how happy you made so many people by not only being there, but by giving it your all despite the less-than-ideal circumstances.
Chag Semeach!
Mommy
First of all, the Afikomen part was — excuse my language — fucking bullshit.
Cousin Ella is a full year-and-a-half older than me, so the fact that a SECOND grader is even allowed to participate is an actual union violation. And I don’t want to start a rumor, but since it was at her house, I have STRONG reason to believe she had prior knowledge of where it was hidden.
Second of all, everything else. Let’s start with the “food.”