Passive aggressive emails from my toddler about Back to School
A saga
Hi, Baby!
Excited to relay you’ve officially been selected for Lois and Mara’s THREE’S class! To refresh in case you don’t recall from early talks about it last June, THREE’S is a huge step up from TWO’s, and we are over the moon for you that it’s official now.
Start date is 9/8 and the whole team is getting into gear to mobilize things on our end to get you there.
One thing to flag: They’re asking for 9AM to 3PM, which means unlike last time, you’ll be doing rest time there instead of going home after lunch. The technical/B.A. term for the deal is “Full Day,” but it basically amounts to the same amount of time on location since you’ll be napping for a large part of the afternoon anyway.
Happy to discuss further but just wanted to pass along the good news ASAP!
Congrats!
Mommy
Namaste, Mommy.
First of all, I need you to breathe. It’s summer, which means I do splash camp, then nap, then beach with grandpa and Goof. This is the sacred rhythm of where I’m at creatively.
I’ve gotten kind of into a flow state about things and I really don’t see giving this routine up any time soon. Seems really misaligned to rock the boat with whatever Lois and Mara are proposing, and I’m not liking the energy I’m getting from this “Full Day” proposition.
The simple truth is, I belong with the hermit crabs. If THREE’s can make a beach with hermit crabs happen then of course I’m open to a conversation — maybe ask them? — but I’m guessing it’s unlikely.
Send along my gratitude for the offer but things just aren’t creatively aligned for me right now.
Profuse apologies if you’ve already done legwork on it.
Love and light,
Baby
Baby — totally hear you.
I should have prefaced everything with: It is OF COURSE still summer and you don’t even have to worry about this until WEEKS from now — truly an eternity away. We all want you to have as much splash time as possible and are thrilled you’re thriving creatively exactly where you are.
It’s honestly been inspiring to see you in action this summer, and I think I speak for all the hermit crabs when I say we are MASSIVE fans of what you are doing.
Having said that, we do think the Lois/Mara deal is perfectly aligned with the season changing, and things might cool off here in a way that doesn’t necessarily fit with your splash vision.
So if things are going to wind down naturally on your summer projects, I suggest it’s worth a quick intro with the THREE’S team. Maybe set a meeting just to see if things are a fit?
Also — keep this super quiet, but I’m hearing Guitar Annie (!!) will be visiting the THREES at least twice a week next year.
Happy to talk it all through further!
Mommy
Mommy,
Ah, I forgot you’re an air sign. I have such trouble getting through to you types, but that’s the industry I guess. Shame.
This whole thing is a pass from me.
I’ve been trying to be really clear about my boundaries and hold space for my needs, and I feel like I’m hearing a lot about Mara and Lois and (as iconic as she is) Guitar Annie, but not about my journey, and how I fit into this “plan.”
I don’t mean to get legal involved, but I actually have a verbal agreement with grandpa to do real boogie boarding at the end of the summer, and I just don’t see where THREE’S fit into that at all.
I’m really thrown by the negative energy surrounding this whole conversation. Please feel free to reach out to my spiritual team for clarification: Grandma who lets me watch SpongeBob and Camp Counselor Natalie who gives me popsicles at lunch.
With all gratitude,
Baby
Loud and clear, Baby. So appreciate your thoughtfulness on this and I’m always in awe of how grounded you manage to be! It all makes so much sense and I’ll be happy to send along a polite pass to Lois and Mara on your behalf.
One thing to note: Kai and Jasper will both be at THREE’S this year, and because of last names, it was looking like Jasper’s cubby will be next to yours. Right next to yours.
And don’t quote me on this, but in very very very very off-the-record convos with his rep, he’ll be bringing cupcakes for his birthday the first week, since his birthday was over the summer.
Blue frosting cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles.
Cheers,
Mommy
Hi!
Just bumping this to top of your inbox, Baby.
Mommy
Hey, Mommy,
Sorry to go offline for a bit.
Transformative news: Grandpa let me boogie board in the pond. It was amazing. I saw the face of the divine in the ripples of the water. We are all vibrations.
And out there on the water, I got into the headspace to really reassess priorities and meditate on what drives me.
For me, and I think you know this — it’s always been love. Love of the splash. Love of the nap at home. Love of the rush of the pond water on my boogie board that is being held by the coolest guy on the freaking planet.
And before anything else, I’m a poet. I know this might be hard for you to understand, because you exist in the world of “We stay at the table at dinner” and “We don’t throw the bath toys out of the bath tub” and “We put on shoes BEFORE we leave the house even if they are too hot” (?) but for me — in my wandering and pondering and letting the universe guide me: I’m thinking I just have to be present for the blue frosting cupcakes.
Because that is my favorite frosting color.
Thrilled we got there and thanks for always being my rock in these dirty deals.
All love to you and Mara and Lois,
Baby
PS: I drew a picture of the pond in Sharpie on the last saved copy of your wedding invitation. Photo of that attached. Let me know what you think!


Fabulous! My bet is that baby will grow up, eschew the karmic life and become a litigator! Let's just hope he doesn't give up cupcakes!
Hahaha