My Son's Congressional Press Conference at Bedtime

Several questions that were more of a comment!

ME [TURNS OFF THE LIGHT]: So with that, it’s time for bed. I will now turn things over to Blue Bunny for snuggles.

GOOF: Congresswoman Mama! Congresswoman!

ME: Yes, you in the rocket ship pajamas?

GOOF: Your constituents are wondering: Can I have some water?

ME: You have had two glasses of water. Any more water and we think you might be up in an hour. Thank you for your-

GOOF: Congresswoman!

ME: Yes, the gentleman who kicked his blanket off?

GOOF: My blanket is off.

ME: I will fix your blanket. That’s really all the time we-

-GOOF: One last question! Congresswoman!

ME: What is it?

GOOF: How is dried seaweed made?

ME: I am not briefed on the matter and I’ll have to refer you to a committee chair.

GOOF: In your estimation?

ME: They put seaweed on a baking sheet and bake it until the water evaporates out of it. Thank you that’s really —

GOOF: Will grandpa die?

ME: Excuse me?

GOOF: He is old like Moana’s grandma, so will he die?

ME: Congressman Grandpa is very healthy - he swims every day and is in great health according to Surgeon General Grandma.

GOOF: You’re dodging the question! Congresswoman: The people of your house district deserve a straight answer: Will Grandpa die?

ME: He will hopefully not die for a very long time.

GOOF: And where will he go after he dies?

ME: It really is time for-

GOOF: Congresswoman we need not remind you that you work for the good people of this bedroom.

ME [SWEATING]: We don’t have any way of knowing, but…um…the beach. He will go to the beach on Block Island. Where he can fish and play with all of the people who he loves. Ok. I wasn’t prepared for -

GOOF: Will you die?

ME: No. Mamas never die. Goodnight.

GOOF: One last question!

ME: [CRYING] Yes, the gentleman standing on his bed?

GOOF: Can I have some water?