My Cover Letter to Be George Santos's Intern

An entirely verifiable story

To Whom It May Concern:

I am applying to be an intern for Congressman George Santos. I am confident I have the right skills, knowledge, and life experience for the job.

I have seen my share of adversity from a young age as a child growing up in the rural heartland. After my house was displaced by a weather-related emergency, as a teenage girl I found my life completely upended. The trauma of that turbulent journey taught me about resilience, and changed my perspective. Being a climate refugee opened my eyes, I found myself seeing the world as if in stark color for the first time.

Immediately after that displacement, I was greeted by my new city’s mayor, the man who would ignite my appreciation of local politics. He taught me in the power of a community working in step together, and that true stature comes not from being the tallest man in the room, but knowing when to extend a helping hand or even a lollipop.

That day I also learned from one of my mentors that to communicate your ideas effectively as a leader, you have to sometimes step outside your giant bubble. And I was given my mission that I’m sure resonates with many young political aspirants: Get to a shining city on a hill.

I am used to working alongside colleagues with a diversity of strengths to achieve my goals. I effectively collaborated closely with a team with varying approaches to core leadership principles I value to this day: Courage, brain, and heart.

I admire Representative Santos’ tirelessness. I am someone who will never, ever surrender. Even when asked directly in skywriting.

And like Representative Santos, I have overcome my own struggles: After surviving the devastating spell of opiates, I have remained steadfast in my decision to never lay down and give up when I could be fighting against injustice and wickedness. I also learned to quickly evade bad apples when they fly my way.

I am used to working on behalf of the great and powerful. Like the Congressman, my previous employer was a political wizard. I was dedicated to serving his demands, no matter how trying. I quite literally have risked my and my little dog’s life to serve his cause.

I also am used to defending a boss who had the curtain pulled back on his exaggerations. I am no stranger to working at the behest of someone who is publicly outed as a fraud, and am familiar with putting my trust in someone who relied on smoke and mirrors to get to his position of power.

And if this letter ever makes it to the Congressman’s desk, I hope he learns the lesson I learned long ago: The best place for him to go is home.

Thank you for your consideration,

Bess Kalb