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Leonardo DiCaprio's Breakup Picture Book For His Girlfriends
On the occasion of their 25th birthday
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
*
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
You’re the ol’ lady
Who’ll decide where you go.
*
Oh!
The yachts you will board!
The English footballers you’ll kiss
The places you will climb
On Maxim’s Hot 100 list
*
Maybe you’ll marry a quarterback
Or the frontman of a band
Or someone who speaks a language
That you actually understand.
*
And now you’re free to pollute the air
In jets and SUVs!
You can talk of topics other than
Climate change and bees!
*
And now that you’re old and 25
There’s so much you can do.
Be the face of Metamucil!
Endorse a calcium chew!
*
And maybe you’ll see me soon
At the Tower Bar or AmfAR Gala
And maybe you’ll be alone
Or on the arm of Wilmer Valderrama
*
But I hope that many years from now
Fate unites us once again
At our old favorite café
By the river Seine
*
We’ll laugh at the coincidence
On that golden summer day
And kiss each other on the cheeks
In that Parisian way.
*
And I’ll order us two champagnes
And one hot lemon water
For us and my new girlfriend
Your 19-year-old daughter.
Leonardo DiCaprio's Breakup Picture Book For His Girlfriends
But 4 years together--that's 28 in dog years!
I love this