Jewish Women Who Have Been Told They Can't Do Something Throughout History
Why bitches with chutzpah could be the last hope for Roe v. Wade
This week, the Congregation L'Dor Va-Dor synagogue of Boynton Beach sued the state of Florida over its 15-week abortion ban, arguing it violates the constitution. The suit argues: “In Jewish law, abortion is required if necessary to protect the health, mental or physical well-being of the woman….As such, the act prohibits Jewish women from practicing their faith free of government intrusion.” Incredible. In light of this brilliant approach, here is a brief chronology of what happens when Jewish women throughout history have been told they cannot do something.
EVE
Was told: “Don’t eat the apple.”
What she did: Ate the apple, caused the fall of man, and no longer had to go camping with Adam in a garden.
MIRIAM
Was told: “Your son will live in the Pharaoh's servitude”
What she did: Put her baby in a basket, floated him down a river to the castle, posed as his nanny so she could raise him, overthrew the Pharaoh and brought down his entire army. Forgot to bake.
MARY OF NAZARETH
Was told: “There’s no room in the hotel.”
What she did: Made sure everyone would hear about this for all eternity.
RUTH BADER GINSBURG
Was discriminated on the basis of sex.
What she did: Became a Supreme Court Justice after making it illegal to discriminate on the basis of sex.
BETTY PERSKE
Was told: “There has never been a Jewish screen siren.”
What she did: Seduced and married Humphrey Bogart after changing her name to Lauren Bacall.
MY MOM, ROBIN BELL
A hippie burnout who routinely skipped class but wanted to get out of her small town and go to college, was laughed at by her high school principal and told “I’ll write you a recommendation to college if you get a perfect score on your SATs.”
What she did: At 16 years old got a perfect score on her SATs.
MY CAMP FRIEND DANIELLE ROTHSTEIN
Was told there was no candy allowed at camp.
What she did: Developed and controlled an underground economy where the ceramics counselor would buy bulk candy from a nearby gas station on her day off in exchange for Dani’s silence about the counselor’s affair with another (engaged) counselor, then Dani would exchange candy for makeup, which her mother wouldn’t let her buy. She now works in private equity.
BESS KALB
Was told a 45-minute wait for a table at the restaurant where she had a reservation while 8 months pregnant.
What she did: Was seated at a table she pointed out “was basically empty” except for one guy still eating. Was given a free dessert for the inconvenience, and for whatever reason could never get a table at that restaurant again.
Also "Danielle Rothstein" is a pseudonym!!
In the early 2000s at private Jewish Day school, an overbearing Jewish mother took it upon herself to have dessert and soda banned from the school. One precocious 8th grade girl took it upon herself to write up a formal petition and hand out candy to each kid who signed. 90% school participation including the mother’s own children. Good ole democracy won.