How To Come To Out Your Children About *Not* Being Polyamorous

It's very difficult for them to hear but so necessary

Kids,

Daddy and I love you very much. We also love each other very much, but in a way that might be different from how your friends’ parents love each other.

We think it’s important to speak honestly and openly with you, because you are four and two now and so you are old enough to hear it.

And we want to set the example that sometimes the way other people expect you to act is not always what makes the most sense for you.

We know this might sound surprising to you, and you might be confused and even a little scared, but Daddy and I, as two consenting adults, are practicing monogamy.

We understand if you have a lot of questions.

Daddy and Mommy did not come to this decision lightly. We put a lot of thought and time into entering a monogamous dynamic. We even had a destination wedding.

But just because we are monogamous doesn’t mean you have to be embarrassed about your family. We will always be a family, whether or not Mommy and Daddy’s deeply personal, private decision makes sense to other families in Brooklyn.

The fact is: We are adults, and what we do in the privacy of our own home and in our bed is entirely the result of deep, deep exhaustion. Truly the mere idea of adding one more complicating factor to our lives, even if the Irish actor Paul Mescal showed up at our doorstep and begged Mommy to run away with him, and Salma Hayek showed up and told Daddy that she wanted to whisk him away in her private jet for a non-stop sexathon, we would both ultimately be too stressed about the logistics to do anything about it.

If other kids at school find out and make fun of you for this, it’s only because they have never heard of an arrangement like this before, and sometimes what people don’t know makes them frightened.

Thank you for hearing us. Take all the time you need to process this. And remember, even if our relationship doesn’t look the same as other people’s, we all want the same thing at the end of the day: Someone to watch The Great British Baking Show with.

We love you. Thank you for being open-minded with us as we navigate this as a family.

Love,

Mom and Dad