Helpful Things to Say to Someone With a New Baby
Once you've covered "It flies by!"
Aww! She looks just like daddy!
I know it’s hard but I miss those days!
How’s everyone sleepin’?
You’ve got this, mama!
I actually had an over-supply so it’s hard either way.
I didn’t end up going the formula route but there’s nothing wrong with it!
I hear the formula they’re making now is almost exactly like breastmilk!
Aww! He’s so tiny compared to mine at that age!
Did you see Barbie yet? Oh - right! Well, you should when you’re up for it!
Mine didn’t have colic so I actually have no idea!
Aww look at those facial features! Did you do genetic testing?
Do you need anything?
And with that, here is the list I wish I printed out and put on our fridge after our kids were born.
Hello! Welcome! Holy shit this is insane! Since you are here, you are someone I love and/or you have worn me down. Here are some things that would be helpful but I am too tired and embarrassed to ask.
Dishes. If you do the dishes you are an official, legal godparent.
There is laundry in the washing machine that is either moldy and needs to be washed again, or is good to go in the dryer. If you do this, I bequeath you all my jewels.
Don’t hold the baby if you have a cold or aren’t vaccinated for everything imaginable.
Don’t have a cold? Yes, you can totally hold the baby. And while you are doing that I would like to take a shower or nap. Goodbye!
Tell me gossip about people I know.
Tell me I look amazing.
When the baby cries, don’t give advice. You can ride it out with me, or you can quietly do items 1 or 2?
Thank you for coming. The baby will not remember your visit but I will remember it and cherish it forever to the extent that I will cry when someone casually brings up your name several months from now. I love you.
People say the most astonishingly thoughtless things sometimes. Colic is torture. I’m so sorry. I hope someone comes and does your laundry and dishes soon. You are incredibly clever even with the sleep deprivation.
I recall it being tough, but through the misty glass of time it's blurry and the details come and go. What stayed...the fact that I loved being a mummy, even a tired, smelly (sour-milk was my fragrance), bedraggled, out of shape...being a mummy was magnificent. I also remember the joy of finding the dishes had been washed! It's adorable how it's the simple things people do that make all the difference. That note on the fridge, in retrospect, is a brilliant idea.