Atonements: An Incomplete List of Apologies My Toddler Requested This Year

A Yom Kippur Roundup

This year, in order to be inscribed in the Book of Life, my toddler requested I apologize for the following sins:

• Peeling his banana down too far.

• Serving him toast with butter (he asked for toast with butter)

• Buckling his helmet without kissing his helmet.

• Putting his scooter on “the wrong wood on the floor.”

• Not telling him there was about to be thunder.

• Singing “It’s Raining It’s Pouring” (too scary)

• Singing anything.

• Not saying “goodnight” to his blue bunny.

• A dream he had where I was “a different cat.”

• A dream he had where I was “not playing with a cat.”

• Pushing his stroller over a root.

• Wearing a dress with too many flowers on it.

• Wearing a different hat.

• Making the bath water too bubbly.

• Making the bath water too clear.

• Applying shampoo to his hair and washing it out.

• Buying new socks with gripper dots on the bottoms so he stops falling.

• Using a napkin to kill a spider instead of using my words.

• Talking to my husband while we were in the car.

• Working.

• Having another child.