An expanded list of candidates this publication endorses over Donald Trump

So as not to undermine Democracy as we know it

• A breadstick that kind of looks like it has a little nose.

• The woman at the grocery store this morning who asked the teenager working there if they had a specific type of lemon curd and when he said they did not she sighed and said, “Then how am I supposed to make my lemon cheesecake!”

• My mom if she can have a moment to just think for a second without being CONSTANTLY interrupted.

• Beloved character actor Denis O’Hare.

• Paul McCartney’s nice Jewish wife from New Jersey, Nancy.