I should start by saying that I did not write this. It was handed to me by a dust-covered elderly woman (who randomly had my eyes?) who appeared in my office in a flash of light. She was wearing a shiny body suit that had a weird-looking American flag on the arm. She stroked my cheek, gave me a folded piece of paper, then told me she was going to get some water. She knew where the bathroom was! She turned on the tap and I heard her gasp and then weep, which was a little dramatic. It’s just water! Then she heard the kids coming into the room and she suddenly froze. My four-year-old son opened the door, and the lady’s eyes filled with a yearning ecstatic wonderment that contained all the grief and love of the universe, then she disappeared again in a flash.
“Who was that, mama?” He asked.
“No idea - some crazy person probably!” I said chipperly. Then I unfolded the note. Out of respect for her, I will publish it in its entirety here. Again, I did not write this. The lady (who kind of looked like my mom and dad somehow now that I think about it) did. Here’s what she wrote:
***
It is never acceptable to turn to violence to settle a political dispute. Any endorsement, tacit or explicit, of taking up arms against political rivals, no matter their politics, is a betrayal of our values as Americans.
That being said…