A complete list of thoughts while watching The White Lotus finale
(Spoilers of course)
Oh no the first shot is PIPER. Does this mean Piper dies? Do we care? Is it bad that we don’t care?
DUUUUUUKE! It’s the meanest joke of the season and it tracks.
Jason Isaacs you are so stressed that at this point if you kill your family we will be relieved for you.
SAXON IS READING THE BOOKS CHELSEA GAVE HIM? No. Saxon got his phone at 3AM and got a ChatGPT summary. Also, Saxon, LOCHLAN and Piper? Belinda and Zion? Jaclyn, Laurie and Kate? Mike White Pulitzer for Naming Characters.
Michelle Monaghan communicating a pure epiphany after reading a book we have already established is written entirely in Thai. Quietly the subtlest acting of the season.
Sam Rockwell gets an Emmy just for how he followed Rick down the hallway.
Mook is casually the perfect villain. A great Helen of Troy arc. Lisa forever.
The three blondes don’t need a gun they have an internal wrath far more lethal! The subtext between every Carrie Coon/Michelle Monaghan conversation is 8 hours long.
Thank G-d for Natasha Rothwell. Belinda is the joy of the show and possibly my life? When Belinda is thriving I am thriving. When Belinda is stressed I am stressed. When Belinda is scared of a lizard I am scared of a lizard.
He’s adorable but the jacked, sweet massage guy isn’t good enough for Belinda. Don’t get distracted! He has served his purpose. Khrap kun kah!
WE KNEW PIPER WAS A FRAUD! THE DRAGGING HER FAMILY TO A $10k A NIGHT RESORT SO SHE COULD “CHECK OUT A MONASTERY” WAS THE FRAUD.
Piper actress PROJECTILE tears are the Best Supporting Cry in a Resort Breakfast. She’s so good. Is she British (HIGHEST COMPLIMENT)?
Honestly who among us hasn’t made a major life choice because the soup was bad.
I have a deranged Parker Posey theory: