The Grudge Report

The Grudge Report

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The Grudge Report
The Grudge Report
A complete list of thoughts while watching The White Lotus finale

A complete list of thoughts while watching The White Lotus finale

(Spoilers of course)

Bess Kalb's avatar
Bess Kalb
Apr 07, 2025
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The Grudge Report
The Grudge Report
A complete list of thoughts while watching The White Lotus finale
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  • Oh no the first shot is PIPER. Does this mean Piper dies? Do we care? Is it bad that we don’t care?

  • DUUUUUUKE! It’s the meanest joke of the season and it tracks.

  • Jason Isaacs you are so stressed that at this point if you kill your family we will be relieved for you.

  • SAXON IS READING THE BOOKS CHELSEA GAVE HIM? No. Saxon got his phone at 3AM and got a ChatGPT summary. Also, Saxon, LOCHLAN and Piper? Belinda and Zion? Jaclyn, Laurie and Kate? Mike White Pulitzer for Naming Characters.

  • Michelle Monaghan communicating a pure epiphany after reading a book we have already established is written entirely in Thai. Quietly the subtlest acting of the season.

  • Sam Rockwell gets an Emmy just for how he followed Rick down the hallway.

  • Mook is casually the perfect villain. A great Helen of Troy arc. Lisa forever.

  • The three blondes don’t need a gun they have an internal wrath far more lethal! The subtext between every Carrie Coon/Michelle Monaghan conversation is 8 hours long.

  • Thank G-d for Natasha Rothwell. Belinda is the joy of the show and possibly my life? When Belinda is thriving I am thriving. When Belinda is stressed I am stressed. When Belinda is scared of a lizard I am scared of a lizard.

  • He’s adorable but the jacked, sweet massage guy isn’t good enough for Belinda. Don’t get distracted! He has served his purpose. Khrap kun kah!

  • WE KNEW PIPER WAS A FRAUD! THE DRAGGING HER FAMILY TO A $10k A NIGHT RESORT SO SHE COULD “CHECK OUT A MONASTERY” WAS THE FRAUD.

  • Piper actress PROJECTILE tears are the Best Supporting Cry in a Resort Breakfast. She’s so good. Is she British (HIGHEST COMPLIMENT)?

  • Honestly who among us hasn’t made a major life choice because the soup was bad.

  • I have a deranged Parker Posey theory:

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